What a Bummer

I think 2011 is against me somehow.

Why you say? I was at the ATM machine trying to clear my debts before the year ends A.N.D. the machine hanged!!! Cant my night end nicely? Ok, complaint finished :P

Spending the last night of 2011 at home alone. Its been some time since I do this. Chillaxing at home. Doing absolutely nothing.

I am no longer a fan of crowds. Not excited about fireworks so much. Well I still am about fireworks but not when I am surrounded by so many people & being stuck in the traffic after.

Gonna watch the movie Sepet now. See you next year! Unless I have some more stuff to share. Ok bye.

PS: I was poking the ATM screen out of frustration; and cursing, just alil. Created some unnecessary attention but I think they thought it was entertaining.

Oh by the way, the picture is my Google background currently. Copyright of Juan Manuel.

Such a B1atch

At every working place, there is always one person who annoys you to bits or get into your nerves. Somehow or rather, there is always one (maybe more)

The office pet. Lets bitch talk about her alil.

Details of her? Not important.

She complains all day about how busy she is. -.-

She is sooo occupied with office work and brings her personal things to do at work too. She does her personal work first instead of office work. WOWWW!! Such an ass.

She brags about her father being an owner of a forwarding company. Yeahhh! Big deal. I'm not working with your dad. I don't care. Btw, you're in the same field but why dont you know anything despite being exposed to the environment since young? Tin kosong.

She thinks she's soooo smart and almighty that she has to pick on everyone.

She thinks everyone likes her. So in denial. I pity her. NOT.

Everything that she says shows how stupid she can get.

She is getting married this year and complains about lack of time all the time. She had 1 year! If you dont have enough time, take 2-3 months leave if marriage is so so important so that you can focus. Stop complaining! Its getting on my nerves. Argh!

My happiest day at office was when I found out i dont have to sit next to her anymore and listen to the stupid things she has to say everyday.

I 'love' her so much that I dedicated one entry for her.

I'm not very nice huh? But I really disliker her.

All I hope is for her to stay far away from me.

Something feels amiss

Wuwu, I want to spam update status on my social network website but it is currently down even if I try accessing it using alternative search engine. Sighs. I have been clicking refresh for hourrss!! exaggerating

Its fun when you can just keep updating anything and everything you want without thinking my spams might bother someone, bleh.

I need to update!! @__@

Whining and excuses

Its about time I need to get my head straight about this job.

I was randomly selected by them through JobStreet. I accepted the job though it was not my cup of tea. Logistic in an interesting field. Lots of new things to learn everyday but I dont seem to be absorbing them. Somehow I am shutting myself out from learning. The reason? My brain cant give me an answer. Maybe because I'm not interested? Maybe because I dont really care what happens? Maybe because I'm still at studying phase & not taking my job as serious I should be but the phase should be over it by now, it has been 5 months since my last exam. Hmmm . .

It has been 4 months - I gave an impression that I don't seem to be enthusiastic about my work through the feedback. Ugh. Also, my performance has been going up and down like a coaster ride. To the boss, my performance is like the weather. The sun shines and then rain and then the sun shines again. In conclusion, inconsistency which is something I have to work on.

So whats next?

• Find my passion really quick?
• Strive for excellence in what I do?
• To work on my pro-activeness. Ugh. Make time to be proactive no matter how busy I am :/
• Stop making excuses.
• Start caring for what I do.

Will I make it?

I hope I am not doing this job for the sake of filling up my time. *ask self*

I hope I can prove myself wrong before its too late.

People pay for your ability. Do what more than what you're supposed to.

*Note to self : A new week is starting. Full speed ahead? I better be. Bleh.

Insecurity in u ?

I am getting more attention in office. So?

More likeable by colleagues. Then?

Can joke / mingle around with just a few sentences. Lalala ~

Stop trying to make fun of me cos you didn't / couldn't get any.

You look more like a fool.

Boss likes you already. So stop thinking I am some threat and pick on someone else.

You're not my boss, stop bossing me / people around.

Honestly, I have no interest in getting to know you.

Bye.

Tens sides of me

People show their different sides when they are with different people.

I have a different image in front of different batch of people I meet. Some seen the happy smiley side of me, the emo me, the moodless me, the sleepy me, the hyper me, the quiet me, the noisy me, the caring me, the bitchy me, the insecure me, the serious me, the playful me, and the list goes on.

I refuse to explain myself although I am not like how you describe me. I might change; depending on my mood & if you're right.. Everyone is different. Stop asking people to change to be like you.

Oh well, life goes on . . .

Uhhh, does someone really need to potray / has a "I am interested" face when working to show that you have interest in something you do?

What if that person is emotionless? Like me.

Sighs. I should get a "I am interested" mask and wear it all the time during work. Bleh.

True sad facts:

I am alil tired of putting a smile on my face the whole time.

I am also too lazy to socialize in Mandarin as I prefer to listen, smile and nod away. I try breaking a joke for the past week but you don't seem to get it so I give up and stopped trying.

When I ask question, you dont seem to like it. When I dont ask question, you think I am not interested. Pls dont tell me that I should ask the right question at the right time. Its too subjective.

" Why oh why do I have super short attention span? Now its 10 minutes max. ZOMG"

" Why oh why do I have short term memory lost? "

Will I survive this probation period? Will I get fired? Only time will tell. Maybe I should start looking for a new job XD

I dont understand something. Why does people with a Degree has to perform better compared to people who has a Diploma or lower? When you work, you should strive for excellence no matter what your academic background is. Its just a piece of paper.

In a bitchy mode

I have always believe that action is louder than words.

So much for wanting to spend time with family.

So much for family is most important.

Some people might think about this differently. How someone treat their family is how someone will treat people around them one day, sooner or later.

Whatever. I give up.

"It is always others fault." Attitude during this so-called hormonal phase really sucks. Throwing tantrums are just . .. I wont take this anymore, its time to grow up. Period.

worst temper

Thursday Nite.

The day I actually lost my temper and curse in public out loud. (Public as in there were people around me. Near me. ) YAY!! My first.

So I was in the KTM that I miss for ages now, on the way back home. My stop. KL Sentral. I wanted to go off at the stop. I tried to make my way out to the door but noone was budging. "Excuse me", I said. No response. Noone was moving. Feeling annoyed, I repeated "Excuse Me" thinking maybe I wasn´t loud enough. Gasp. Again, ignorance from the people. =.=

To people who knows me, my voice is relatively loud. Really.

Since I had enough of this nonsense and not wanting to miss my stop, I forced my way out instead. Gah! Its such a struggle, with my luggage also. My temper blew immediately. I said "Fuck!". Seconds after that, I could move my way out easily. Hmmm.

I dont know. Was it a coincidence? I am still wandering if it was the cursing out loud that made my pathway to the door open up wide for me. This will remain as a myth. Unless I feel like trying it out to proof it.

Nah! Cursing in public is just inappropriate and impolite.

So not doing again,

unless its necessary. =P

Maybe This

Flying from Frankfurt Airport alone was such a bore. Couldnt help walking around in circles while waiting for time to pass. So much things ran through my head while waiting for boarding and I solved a mystery that I have been wandering lately.

I used to share my everyday life no matter how silly or stupid it is with anyone. Then something happened in between and somehow because of that, I felt "betrayed" without me realizing it. Since then, my system shuts down and decides not to share my life anymore. No more happy-go- lucky, no more carefree Ching , whats left was just a pretentious smiley Ching. Sigh.

Being lied to once and then finding it out is so bad. Blekkk. Me no loike this.

Maybe I should start to learn to not expect so much from a new friendship to avoid disappointment. Entah.

Words are just words. NOT!

Ok. I just want to bitch a little. 

Words are there for a reason. They have different meanings, duh! People use them to express or describe how they feel. Sometimes one does not notice the effect of using the wrong words. So use the right word with the correct meaning please. 

It may not matter to a person if the usage of word was wrong or not. WRONG! It does matter as it would create unnecessary conflict and annoyance(for my case). Misunderstanding is such a turn-off in any relationship. 

I was not trying to be a English teacher to correct grammar or people´s mistakes whatsoever but these "words" could really kill the conversation atmosphere within seconds.   

No, I am not PMS-ing. 

Yes I admit that I care for the proper right usage of words. I am not being overly sensitive. 

Learn to use the right words! 

I admit I am not good at expressing myself at times but I would think of the best most appropriate word I could think of before blurting it out without thinking of the effect. 

The so-called "great" organiser

Well the International Office organised a Korean, Malaysian and Vietnamese Night at ESG. In short, it was called Asian Nite. It was a superb minus the lousy management of the so-called "great" organiser. 

Let me tell you why. I know, I know, it is supposed to be a happy exciting fun thing to talk about the Nite BUT I really want to voice out my dissatisfaction about this organiser. Lets name him, Billy. I dont mind telling his real name but nah. 

There was no emcee, no person-in-charge of technical, no introduction of the agenda for the Nite, no dry run, no event manager, no no no. The whole thing ran randomly as everyone looked at each other wandering what should happen next and so on. Oh My Gawd. 

Billy thinks he is the greatest almighty person but the fact is he sucks badly. AND it is only a small event for 60-80 people AND he screwed it. Only when the Nite started, I realised everything was NOT done properly. Sigh. I was so so tempted to be the emcee but . . . nah. Later Billy scold me for acting myself and ask who is the organiser huh, blablabla. 

Not only that, one of the performance was cancelled last minute as the performers ffk them that morning itself and what Billy responded to it was like WTF. I mean shit happens. You dont have to rub it in and make them feel worse. You should give some sort of motivation or give some ideas or just shut up. 

He was totally bad in presenting his country. So the boring. And monotonous voice. Come on la, you are from that country, hyped up abit for your country la. 

I cant believe I am writing ONE entry about him. Ok, enough bitching. I so not working with him next time.

Ikan vs Kucing

Sometimes, people are just weird. They obviously want it but refuse to do something about it. They need some kind of catalyst to push them, to scare them, then worry or whatsoever that they would loose it then AND then only do something. 

People are just selfish. They care only about themselves. They choose to continue hurting someone proudly and thinks it is some kind of achievement. 

 

I am not in a position to judge them don´t I?

 

If both sides are ok with it, so why should I even bother at the first place then? Because it concerns about someone I care of? 

I dont know. I somehow don´t respect people like this. I won´t bother trying to get to know you better. Period. 

How much is it?

When 

Ignorance 

Over Assumptions 

Lack Preparation 

Too confident 

brings disappointment. How much is this disappointment, this depression? 53 €. Such a valuable experience I will not forget.  

What happen? We were sent back. We didn't even get to have a look at Prague. We were at the border, so near yet so far. 3 hours to destination. We were clueless of our visa status. We assumed we could go. We assumed too much since the rest had no problem back then. Lesson from this experience? Never assume! Be extra cautious! Be ....... 

I feel bad. 53€ is not a small amount. I'm sorry dad. 

This feeling right now sucks when I spend for *****. 

I need a hug.

I want to whine. How stupid I was. How ignorant I was. How bad I feel now.

I feel like crying whenever I think how hard dad worked for the money and it's gone within 5 short hours? 

*swears with all my might* 

There were signs but we ignored it. But that is not important right now. What mattered is IT happened. We can't change time. We can't change anything. We just can learn from this. And perhaps, be happy that we weren't caught in Prague by the authorities and sent to jail or something? It could have been worse. Hmmmmmmmmm............  .  .   .     .            .

I'm sorry, I'm trying to console myself. Bear with me. Btw I'm appearing offline in MSN. Takde mood. Want more details? Ask me. *sulks for few days.... at least*

bitchy me

Man, I'm having a emotional imbalance or whatever it's called. 

Super impatient with anything that goes really slow. And I go 'Boom'. I hate the internet speed. Apparently my lappy has been infected by trojan. Sigh. Will reformat it tomorrow after the dateline. Lalala ~ 

Super impatient with unacceptable acts. Eg to realise the need to plan 'for the future' when this bunch of people have 4 months left before they finish their term OR showing bad example OR leaving something behind just like that because it's boring OR NATO so-called leaders OR disrespect for senior OR non-deserving people that only knows how to shine people's shoes getting promoted ... nvm . It's about the way how things are going in c-feel I am alil pissed off and giving me so much more reasons to just leave it for good. Sayonara ! May you close shop really soon. I'm mean? I know. But if you hear/know what has happened you would agree with me 100%. They don't deserve my pity it has become like this. Bitchy bitchy mood. 

Super impatient with brats that whines all the time and blames others' for one's fault or shared mistake. No comment on this. 

As a result of this impatient-ness, I have been under weird cravings for food all the time although I just eaten something. Argh! Not good. 

A walking reminder - "Why are you fatter?"

This somehow annoyed me to bits. Telling me something I know on my face everytime we meet. Maybe I'm sensitive but come on la! 

Yes I know I'm fatter now. Gain weight. Chubbier. Whatever. But why keep asking me why am I fatter? Duh! The obvious reason is because I ate a lot at home and I don't bother exercising. I know you are fit la. But don't u have other things to talk about besides mentioning me being fatter all the time? How about asking me how's life? Or how's Christmas / New Year or how your holidays went? 

Whatever. 

This week, I saw 2 people I didn't want to meet. Totally spoil my week. One, the cute lil girl who thinks her English is really good but even her 'best friend' couldn't understand her and apparently she's smart because she's in Deans list. Another, the paria liar who sux in lying and run / hide / pretend to drink her bottle water whenever she spots me. Haha. 

Maybe I should have stalk the paria liar but pretended I didn't see her. Lol. My new hobby it shall be. Hoho

Frustation

It's frustating when u find out more about a person's lies although you know that she is a liar. AND it's proof to a lie that you know few months back. Yeay! Great! Maybe I shouldn't have check my emails. Sigh. 

Maybe it's childish for you but I told her about my findings about the lie to her. Why I did that? To let her know that her lie got busted! And hinting to her to lie better next time. 

Telling her doesnt make any difference anyway. People like her won't feel anything. It's a norm for her to lie. SOO?? No big deal la. 

Moral of the story: Don't lie to me. If I find out, I'll never forget it. Sorry but it's just me. I don't tolerate lies. Even if you want to, lie properly and don't let me find out. Best way to hurt me? Lie to me and then let me find out! Expect a bye bye to my trust to you then. 

I just dont understand

How can someone be so bitchy and still assumes that everyone likes her?

How can someone leave their used pads & undies in the bathroom unattended? Even if u forgot and remembered after that, throw it properly... yer

How can someone brag so much again and again? Can he just shut up?

How can someone steal a spoon, of all things?

How can someone complains all day & all night long about a person than talk nicely in front of him/her?

How can someone backstabs people, the whole worlds know about it then pretends to be pitiful?

How can someone leave their room door open widely just like that? Masuk pencuri padan muka

How can people be so inconsiderate by laughing away loudly at 2am / 5am as if other people do not exist or they own the whole hostel?

How can someone blast their music super loud at 1 am -3 am?

How can someone enjoy life by complaining about every little thing about their life?

How can someone be so pretentious?

How can a self-proclaimed genius be a genius when he’s played around by a girl? "Genius" indeed

How can someone lie all the time as if it was a norm?

How can someone be so optimistic? In de wrong way

How can someone sacrifice the life and future of their students as a teacher, as an educator?

How can someone claimed contributing so much but no results was shown?

How can de educators with M'ment background talk and teach about Ethics when they themselves are not ethical? Hmmm ... contradicting

How can someone be so contradicting of what they said all the time?

Anyway, people are just so weird, fake, liars & complicated. Mixing around with them too much would just kill your mood. So bleh ~

Identify them and stay far2 away from them.

Or maybe just watch how silly they can get!

WARNING: 18 and above only. VIOLENT post ahead!!

Have u ever hated someone sooo much that u didnt want her to die that easily?

Have u ever wish u could torture someone u didnt like?

Have u wish that u could see de person tat u dont like suffers *wif de hiss sound*?

Now... here is where de journey begins...
a horror one....
My version
Of how I want HER journey to be...

I have always have wanted something like this to happen to her.
bUT only happened in my dream so far.
You see, it's not/never easy for me to hate someone.
If I really do, that person is really really bad.
You should stay away then.
Not joking.
In the end of dis blog, u might think and say that

I'm mean

I'm scary

I'm cruel

I'm not a human

Anyway, here is my plan if I ever get to do this to her.
If onlyI was filthy rich, I could hire someone to do this on my behalf but it would be more fun and exciting doing it myself
If only there's no law / rules,
I wont get caught for doing this...

Step 1: Tie her hands and legs up with a rope of course
Step 2: Hang her horizantally so that she looked like i'm gonna bbq her to eat. Nah, she's too yucky to be eaten... yerrrrrrrrrr... yuck!! I rather pass
Step 3: Ready a long sharp knife, 3o cm long if possible. De ones that Shine shine
Step 4: Now you're ready... slice her skin ... bit by bit... layer by layer... *recommended about 5mm per slice *... de thinner de better... let de blood drip lil by lil... u can start slicing any part of the body as u like... your creativity =)
Step 5: After you're tired, leave her outside to bleed. Best weather: Hot shining blazing sun! Raining also works fine with me.
Step 6: Just wait for flies / crow / any insects to peck on her! Or or... leech!! It's really cheap to get these things.
Step 7: After u rest enough, continue slicing her. Maybe thicker smaller deeper cut this time. Cut some cube of meat out! =)


Anyway, I ran out of idea of her journey after that. No more creative juices running anymore. Bleh ~

On the side note, I would like to apologize if I was being too inhumane. I'm sorry but that's me being a devil! Lalala ~

Horrible terrible vegetable

GRrrr!! Is it me or they trying to delay time & giving lots of excuses? Hmm...

So I am subcribing the DCampus zone now. After any call that cost min of RM1, calls to any Digi numbers are free!!

When they had some carnival promotion about this package, I sign up. The Digi person say I can use it after 1 week. And so I waited excitedly. 1 week passed, NOTHING! Hmm... i decided to ask a friend who works in Digi. She said it usually takes 2 week. WTH!! Itu Digi person totally bluffed me. Assss....

Waiting patiently for another miserable 1 week, ... an sms came in saying I'm in Dcampus zone blablabla...

Being an excited Digi user and all, I tried it out! Call bak home and bro. Lalala ~ BUT they still charge me! WTH!! So I called the Digi Helpline & told them about my problem. The operator said I should wait till the next day after 12pm & they will giv me bak my deservable credit that they CUT! Stupid system.

Next day, which is today... i check my credit... *not happy* I called the Digi Helpline AGAin and told the operator about it BLablabla. Again, I have to wait another 24 hours... WTF!! Apparently the bloody system needs another 24 hours. Excuse me??!! U came up with the system at the 1st place and ur customer have a problem & u happily asking your customer to wait 2 stupid days??!! 24 hours not enough to solve the problem ka? If your system cant handle it, dont do it la!!

Your follow up SUCK big time!