Need you Now

My new favourite emo song - best time to listen to it in a peaceful night while watching the sky so clear with some stars and the moon shining while driving.

Need You Now lyrics found at elyricsworld.com

Song debate

Do you remember?

I repeated the song below on my playlist like a zillion times & kinda made you curious, I think. We even 'argued' on the meaning of the song xD

Then this song came along and I thought it was the same as the one above. Haha.

I miss the late night random chats.

I miss staying up.

I miss teaching you BM, the bahasa pasar version.

Did I tell you I miss you already ?

Kenangan Terindah

The one song that made rain came pouring down. I once (and more) sang it 'passionately' and minutes later, it rained. Lets see if it is going to rain in a bit :P

Ya, I am in the mood for emo-ish songs & random thoughts now. Somehow I feel like crying for no particular reason. Its been a while since I have red wettish eyes. With the help of Eyemo perhaps?

No Goodbye(s)

Hearing a sad sad news like that yesterday was really heartbreaking.

He was one person I love talking to and being around with. He is a good storyteller, smiles all the time and a good motivator. He watched me grow. Now with him not here anymore, I feel a slight pain. It aint going to be the same anymore without his presence.

He has been working hard all his life and has yet to relax. Sometimes life is just too short to not being able to do what you want to do for once. I didnt even meet him this year yet! @________@

He left without saying goodbye *cries*

"Uncle Tan, I am going to miss you. May you rest in peace. "

Confession : I hate this part of life where I wont be able to see/hear people I care as they slowly leave. It hurts and I choose to deny it. I believe that they are still around & always always will be.

Just one Chance

The day finally came. As much as it hurts to finally know, I have to face it. I wished it was all a dream, but when I woke up this morning, the pain was still there and I knew it was all real. *ouch*

Personal opinion: If you believe in something, we should just go on and see where the route lead us but in one condition; A time limit.

Being realistic can be hard and painful. Truth hurts. But its better than being in denial cos we will continue being in dreamland & not wake up.

I dont know whats next when the period finishes. I am not looking forward to it. If I have an answer to it now, why bother deciding on something then? Fixing an answer in your head is just not right cos you know you already have decided and eventually nothing will change, I think.

Reality check: Happiness is not/never guaranteed.

It sux but can only work out if both parties are willing to work for it. We are willing to give it a shot. Now? Lets see what will come to us next. Be it good or bad, I need to accept it with a smile and with an optimistic thought. Can I?

Will you wait? For something uncertain? A chance is all I ask for.

Album song no 2

Something I ponder upon just now.

Rule 1, ur gf is always right.

Rule 2, if she ever wrong, reread rule 1.

Hahaha. I cant stop laughing reading this. I shall hold on to this rules strongly. Lalala ~

On a side note, the Wubi called me to sing me the Tuesday theme song. I was touched I almost cried. Me miss you loads Wubi. :(

Sighs, I have been feeling like a crybaby lately. I feel touched for the smallest thing people does for me. Is it a good thing?

I miss Penang. I miss everyone back there. I miss the smiles they bring to me. I am looking forward to end of February . I MUST GO BACK !!

vermisse-ing dich

" Missing you hasn't been a pleasant feeling.

Whenever I miss you, I play that song out loud repetitively, singing it out loud too.

Whenever that song plays, I think of you and images of you appear.

It was that song . . . "

It may be unbearable now , but I am looking forward whats coming next :)

I may be silly at times but I know what I want. Please bear my silliness aite. Theres only one of you, that is why I am reacting this way :(

There and then I know the reason why. Its you.

Go awayy

Can I just pretend?

Can I just ignore?

Can I just let it be?

Should I just not think about it? But I cant lie to myself that it doesnt bother me somehow.

I want to find a place to emo and somewhere to do reflection. Bleh.

Current stage: Empty head

Current mood: Numb

DD-Ds

The few stuff I bumped into the other day. Some part of it describes how I really feel recently.

...........

The day you were born, the whole world was blessed
These thoughts in my mind to you I must confess

The time has come for me to express my true feelings
You are the center of my thoughts and the essence of my being

What you have brought me I never thought I could procure
The gift of comfort, with you I am secure

For you have lifted me up from a life filled with sorrow
And made me realize there is always a better tomorrow

It amazes me how someone can make me feel this way
I love you more and more with each passing day

You brighten my days and lift my spirits
I have felt this for so long and now want you to hear it

So you may know the place you hold in my heart
You are always with me even when we're apart

I truly believe what we have is meant to be
Just open your heart and soon you shall see

What I am willing to do to keep a smile on your face
Just know that I'm here and will be always

- - - -

I wish I could wipe
your falling tears away,

as you bravely smile through your pain...
You see me suffer,

then you break down and cry
miles apart...

In your dreams
I softly kiss you,

no one can see the pain,
that we both feel inside

miles apart...
You whisper I love you

and I whisper to the skies,
I love you too

When will this pain ever go away
even though we are

miles apart...
To be by your side

is a dream I can't deny
But I will wish for it to come true.

I miss you so badly
my heart is breaking

as we cry
miles apart...

- - - - -

You don't know how much i miss you
or how much i really care
your like a dream
i open my eyes
to find that your not there

i wish that i could meet you
to see how much fun you are
so that you could hold me
but your destination is too far

i wish that i could touch you...
.i want you to touch me too
my heart is crying out for you
what am i to do?

i miss your friendly presence
you've got me thinking. 'damn!'

you don't know how much i want you
but you're no where near i am...

~ By Yvonne Palalagi, New Zealand, Auckland

Emo day

Today I was awake with a really touching message that I became stunned the whole day. I feel so so loved and cared for. I ran out of words of how I am feeling exactly right now.

I realised I am falling deeper into this person as days pass and I cannot imagine myself loosing him one day. Thinking of him just now made me shed tears. As a matter of fact, all the raining today didnt help me feel any better.

From the start, I knew this wont be easy due to distance, but I didnt want to do something that I might regret. I am glad I did it.

Thinking of how sweet this person is, brightens up my day and keeps me strong. But not today. Today is emo day.

I wish I wish I could be there. Just by your side.

How I feel

It has been 4 days since I am back home, the country where I belong to, Malaysia. Although it has been 4 days , I only spend 1 day at home with my family. Actually, make it half a day only. I feel so so bad and sad having to leave right away.

I felt like I was running away from home. Gosh.

Since I entered USM, I have never spend quality time with dad and mum cos I rarely go home. With things in hand and tiredness from those long journey, I didnt go home as often. I only go home once every semester starts?

Thats why whenever I am home, dad welcomes me with a big big smile. In other hand, mum welcomes me with homecook food, a warm smile and questionsss. Lolx. With my bros, we usually spend the day and night talking about almost everything. We share whatever that has happened for the past 1 semester then laugh at them.

I miss those moments right now. 1 semester has passed and I am still not at home. I miss them so much now.

And also my countless huggable pillow. =.=

Tak mau extend. Huhu

People say if you work hard enough, you would get what you want. 

This seems like a to lie to me. 

People say practice makes perfect.

This seems to fail on my part also. 

People say the process is important.

"Right", but in the end result shows everything cos no one sees the process. Just result.

I studied and practised and did exercise and cases BUT today showed all this wasnt enough. I was not being overconfident. I did what I could. I thought I was prepared. The first page itself totally killed me. 

Whats next? 

Me praying alot I would pass. I need it. I need a shoulder to cry on. Huhu. I doubt about the positive thinking of passing it. Definitely expecting the worse. 

What a day. I was happy for the last few days. Now I am depressed all over. My feelings are going through a roller coaster ride. Cant I stay happy all the time? =.= 

Parting from GSO SS09 Experience

It has been 4 months since I was here in Nurnberg. Time passes really fast, like in a glimpse of an eye and Final exams are here! Oh my. A hit on the face saying that I am leaving soon, damn. Huhu. 

Have been mingling more with the Exchange students I have met instead of adapting to the environment and make more friends with the local Germans to understand their culture better and clear some perceptions. Sigh. No point regretting now can I? Time waits for no one. 

Well the type of experience one wants to gain depends solely on you. You want it, work on it, make a difference. It´s your experience, no one else´s. 

I would definitely remember the experience I have been through for this past 6 months. The process and the people I have met. Although nothing is perfect throughout this journey, but things happen for a reason and we learn from it. Woot! 

I am grateful I could actually be here to experience all this. Being able to meet all the magnificent people throughout this journey was just awesome pawsome. No words can express how I really feel right now. 

(( An individual is unique on their own no matter where they are from! ))

Thank you so so much to all of them who have made my experience a memorable one, a unique one. I have learned a number of things from them. I wish I could just collect them in a bottle and bring them home. 

Truly wish time could pass really really slow for the next 1.5 months. 

Parting is the imperfect part of life. 

-- Semoga jodoh dapat menemukan kita semua pada masa depan ^^ -- 

Freaky =((

I think I have some deja vu power.  

Maybe I am making it up? I hope so too. But everytime a certain thing happens, it felt so so familiar, as if I faced it before or dreamt of it. 

I have shared this before with a few friends about this nightmare. 

Let me ask you this. 

"Have you ever dreamt of someone you love just dies in front of you? And it felt so so real that you want to wake up from your dream (you know it is a dream so u try waking up but you just cant) . Then you cant differentiate whether it was all a dream or reality. Damn. "

Till today I had this nightmare 4 times in count. Everytime I am awake, I keep praying and beg to God (although I dont pray) that it was all just a dream and will never ever ever happen. 

It is just too much for me handle as it tortures me mentally and emotionally little by little, moreover, I am here, not at home. Arr! 

This nightmare has been haunting me since I first left home. It scares me. 

Go away please. 

I dont want any special power, not this. 

Hwaitinggg XD

When shits happened, think of a solution to overcome it although it woulndt be easy to do so cos regretting about what has happened wouldnt change anything. 

^^ Alil note to honeydew (you complained I spam your wall too much so I leave you a note here instead), I saw your presentation video about some island. Hahaha. I like the way how you answered those questions thrown to you. Very creative. You caught the audience attention very very well. But you would need to change the way you present though. LOL. Still proud of you dearest dew. Very brave. Hehe. I miss you. Cant wait to go home. 

I cant believe this

I dont like this at all. 

I dont know what I just did but ya. To react almost instantly to your request just made feel me stupid. I clearly know that it has past but I cant seem to. 

Isnt 3 years enough? "The" song that reminds me of you, it is still in my lappy. I cant delete it off somehow. I did once, then I click Restore in the Recycle Bin. Q__Q 

  

Those feelings are not the same anymore. Time passed, I have changed, so as my feelings. But whenever I bump into your photo, I smirk to myself and memories come pouring by. 

Wake up Ching. Stop this already would you?

Wakey wakey D:

I came across this when I was reading my forwarded email. My brain is not cooperating with me too well right now. 

Quite logical geh these roadsigns. 

Right now, I need a hug. Anyone needs one? I dont mind hugging u. I need one myself. 

This picture below remind me so so much of ahni. HAHAHAHA! Hope she dont kill me when she sees this. Rofl. Really look like her lor. XP 

And second thought, it reminds me of the working adult Ran also. Hehehe. 

Random thought

What I seen here shows long distant relathionship dont exactly last. But of course, there are some that do last. It depends. Really. 

Scenario 1:  Two students met and became an item although they have bf and gf back home. I am not sure if they broke up with partners back home. They "main kayu tiga"? I dont know, I dont care. Their freedom. 

Scenario 2 : A rather close friend still keeps in touch with her bf , caring for him , loving him although they are far apart. Gosh! I am really jealous of you gal. Keep it up! 

So you cant stop attractions and feelings from developing. It is not anyone's fault. It develops. Although you have someone special, but when you are far away from that someone for a certain period, you will feel lonely. You meet people on the way, you care about them, you understand them better, you talk to them, he/she become part of your life and slowly, without you even realising it, you like or fall for him/her just like that. 

Feelings are subjective and fragile. It is easy to develop them but not easy to maintain them. Alot of factors involved. When you step out, it is hard to step back in.  But you were happy, that mattered most. Again, just my opinion.  

I. Wander. 

Feelings. They are complicated. Unpredictable. It affects your day. It decides your mood. Boo! 

alil more time

Ducks of 3 different types, quacks differently come together. Can´t we be just like them and live happily ever after.  

 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

So it was the crucial week. I have to get rid of this temporary affection before it is too late and I fall deeper where no rope can reach me. As much as I figured it, we are just too far away. So what if you like a person so much but you don´t know anything about that person and you are just too lazy to make an effort? Anyway nice guys are usually taken. Bleh. Forget it. I have been trying to dispose this feeling as much as I can but it grew instead, but this week, I think it´s working. I need time. I don´t need to bump into him. Lalala  

How much is it?

When 

Ignorance 

Over Assumptions 

Lack Preparation 

Too confident 

brings disappointment. How much is this disappointment, this depression? 53 €. Such a valuable experience I will not forget.  

What happen? We were sent back. We didn't even get to have a look at Prague. We were at the border, so near yet so far. 3 hours to destination. We were clueless of our visa status. We assumed we could go. We assumed too much since the rest had no problem back then. Lesson from this experience? Never assume! Be extra cautious! Be ....... 

I feel bad. 53€ is not a small amount. I'm sorry dad. 

This feeling right now sucks when I spend for *****. 

I need a hug.

I want to whine. How stupid I was. How ignorant I was. How bad I feel now.

I feel like crying whenever I think how hard dad worked for the money and it's gone within 5 short hours? 

*swears with all my might* 

There were signs but we ignored it. But that is not important right now. What mattered is IT happened. We can't change time. We can't change anything. We just can learn from this. And perhaps, be happy that we weren't caught in Prague by the authorities and sent to jail or something? It could have been worse. Hmmmmmmmmm............  .  .   .     .            .

I'm sorry, I'm trying to console myself. Bear with me. Btw I'm appearing offline in MSN. Takde mood. Want more details? Ask me. *sulks for few days.... at least*