Not reli stable now. DND.

I can’t believe it. I actually got what I wished for. I badly wanted to see fireworks before I leave the country. On 13^th Dec being a rep for some ASEAN University games tingi, that night was memorable for me.

The beauty of fireworks… I finally saw it. My desire to see fireworks… fulfilled. I feel satisfied although the performance that night was sucky and I felt bored & a lil cursing was involved. Oops. I am a sucker for fireworks. Since form 5, every year, I was privileged to witness fireworks till I came to Uni. CNY and Merdeka celebration especially. Fireworks in front of me. Loud and beautiful. They are so mesmerizing. I would do anything just to watch them again and again.

 

It’s weird. Everytime I witness fireworks, I am always in some St John duty. Even on the 13^th, it’s some St John stuff actually. The St John in USM was requested to represent USM. I’m quite demanding of how near I am to fireworks actually. I don’t like watching them from too far distance. Yes, again, I repeat that I’m a sucker for fireworks.  Maybe because I’m too used to watch them from near distance, so I’m a spoilt brat when it comes to fireworks. Huhu. I love fireworks very very much.  

 

Besides the fireworks, I attended the National Parade on the 14^th as a participant actually. It's the 100th year celebration for StJohn. I was part of the Penang StJohn marching band. I wandered why I agreed joining actually. Hmmm… the curiosity I guess since I’ve never participate in a Parade before. So why not? Erm, no, I'm not hinting that I'll be active in StJohn after this. Too much of politics involved from where I belong. Not in USM division la. Also, USM's has some other things I didn't like.   

 

But deep in me, I wandered if I will meet him on that day. And guess what? I did. From far. He and his camera. Shooting pictures. His stupid face. His stupid face expression. He and his hair. The way he walks. I sound like a stalker somehow but I'm not! He barely changed. I almost teared when I finally get to stalk see him. It’s been 2 years long. But I was too afraid to say hi. I don’t even dare to look at him as the band marched past him. Glances of him after so so long…  

 

I feel happy but at the same time, depressed. I wanted to give him a call to say “ HEY I SAW U! “. But again I refrained myself from doing it. Although I really really wanted to talk to him in person, hit him on the back then run away, argue with him, ..... I just couldn’t do it. 

 

So near yet so far.

 

It’s all one’s action. 

This feels so much like a story line in the TV drama. Arrr ... !! 

I want to change how things are going BUT I'm just too afraid.