Not normal

You were my 1st crush. I loved you for who you were. You seemed so perfect but I didn't know how to response and keep dragging on. I was depressed finding out you had a girlfriend a year later. Although I don't like you gf for various reasons, I'm happy see-ing you happy. Your smile means a million to me. I wish both of you eternal happiness. 

You are weird. The simplest mind person I've met so far. We clicked almost instantly. Finding out you had a gf wasn't much of an impact to me. When you had a fight with her, I was worried that you two might break up so I suggested ways to mend it. I really want to see both of you together although . . . I was not that excited when you told me you broke up with her. Your reason was like ..... . .   . .   . to me. 

When I find out that I like you, it was too late. You were dating someone, I emo-ed a few days for not appreciating you and noticing it earlier, because I chose to ignore them. I blessed your relationship. When I found out you broke up with her, I was happy. I feel bad having this feeling. Even then, I'm not doing anything about this feeling. I became confused. 

I don't know why I liked you to begin with. But you have always been the first that pops in my head whenever I'm stressed out, sad, scared or depressed. Your sms your call your msn has always been precious to me, even now, I cherish them. I love the attention you give back then. =))

I feel so much better now blogging this out. I'm abnormal. I have different feeling for each of you. I want to be with you but I just don't know what to do at that stage. I'm not brave enough to go on, not brave enough to admit how much I love you back then, too coward that I might hurt myself, too afraid of the word 'commitment'. I. Am. Sorry.